She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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