no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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