So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
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Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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