i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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