Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
