I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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