I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize