whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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