I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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