Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
