So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome