...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?