the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
