I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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