Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize