if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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