every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize