my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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