but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?