If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.