OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
