My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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