your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
PANTIES FOUND
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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