So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am midnight drunk by noon
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This is my gift to your gina
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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