please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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