I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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