I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
