we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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