i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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