one might say we're banned from that church
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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