i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
