onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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