Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize