Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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