I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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