Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
