So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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