are you still at the devil's house?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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