she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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