Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
