so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples