Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.