my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count