i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.