she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
