So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
