a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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