Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
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Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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