who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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