I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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