Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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