that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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