Christians are straight up FREAKS
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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