I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
