I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize